Do you ever look through your old social media photos and wonder what people will gather about you based on them once you’re gone?
As I look over my curated past with such insane ease, I sometimes imagine it with a voice over narration as if my life was worthy enough to be put on film in either a biopic or a documentary.
If it were a doc, who would be interviewed, and what would they say about me? What is the purpose of the doc? Why is my life so important to warrant this? Would they do a slow zoom-in on family photos, finding my face among the many while some sort of narrator describes what I was like as a child? With the growing lack of physical photos, the pictures shown will be past Facebook profile pictures and things I’ve been tagged in through the years.
Looking through my tagged photos, it is easy to take many of them out of context, especially if you match the image with someone talking about me or the thing I did or the thing that happened or how they knew from a young age or who knows what the hell they’re talking about. My life, the circumstances of my death, my legacy?
Will they focus in on an element of my life that I never really put much thought to? They may assume that because it was well documented through social media that it somehow was important to me or that I had different interests than what is true. Yes, I went to Day Glow once and it was stupid. Between their promotional stills, amateur photographers with water marks and my friends posts, it may seem like I was all about that Day Glow Life.
Maybe that’s why sometimes you hear about the surviving family getting upset about the depiction of their loved one in a biopic. Like what the fuck, that didn't happen, or that didn’t happen that way, or that person didn’t even exist, or that wasn’t our motivation at all, and now so-and-so looks like a total dick.
I hope they make the right people look like dicks in my biopic - so bad that their last name becomes a ubiquitous slang term for asshole. That may be my legacy. Or maybe the movie boosts an unknown actor to stardom, or wins someone an award or two. What if the movie is shit, and the only thing people say about it is: “Isn’t that the movie where (insert actress name her) gets naked?”
What if the sex scene (or whatever scene with nudity) is one of the things that never happened in real life? What if this scene changes people views on me or the other characters involved? What if it changes everyone’s perception of my entire existence? What if this scenario was gleamed off of one tagged photo where I have my arms around her and we’re looking at each other and it looks like we’re having a great time?
What if right after this picture was taken, I told her how much I can’t stand when people ask for advice or suggestions on social media and end their post with “And, go!” Fuck you, it’s not playful, it’s annoying, and I hate you. Especially when the question is posed as one thing, but clearly just a humble-brag of total douchery.
Going to be traveling through the south of France for the next few weeks and need to catch up on my wine tasting. Any great suggestions? I’m partial to red. And…go!
Is anyone else finding the most recent Gray’s Anatomy (textbook, all you TV watchers) to have a few typos where they shouldn’t be? What are other reference or textbooks I can get before my med school finals come up? And, go!
We get it, you lead an insecure life and want people to know that you’re fulfilled with whatever you’re currently doing. If you’re going to use this obnoxious, mildly condescending incomplete sentence, at least make it about something real.
Looking for a tissue that doesn’t hurt my dick after masturbating but is still under $3 a box. And, go!
Currently experiencing a pain in my stomach that could be extremely left over Pad Thai, cancer, or a panic induced ulcer spawned from the fear that I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. And…go!
If you delete all your social media accounts, do you even exist anymore? You know the drill.