Today at work, I'm ringing up a dude at my store and this is our conversation:
Me: Do you have a store credit card?
Dude: No, what's that?
I hand him the little pamphlet thing explaining what the store credit card is, which is weird, because who doesn't know what a store credit card is in 2016?
Me: It only takes five minutes to fill out, and if you do it today, you can save thirty percent on your purchase.
Dude: The last thing I need is another credit card.
He laughs, full of ego, and I try not to murder him as I laugh along. Customer service is key!
I ring up the shirt he's buying, trying not to prick myself with the security tag (happens all the time). I've been scolded for saying "fuck" too many times in front of customers when this happens, so now I do it a little slower to ensure "employee safety practices."
Me: It's going to be eighty-nine ninety.
Me: Eighty-nine ninety.
He grabs the shirt from me and holds it up, as if I didn't already know that it was in fact, a shirt.
Dude: But I got this from the 40% off table.
I look at it and see the mistake he's made, and try to stay professional about it.
Me: The 40% off table is for the Alfani brand. This is a Ralph Lauren.
Dude: I know it's a Ralph Lauren, but I got it off the 40% off table.
This happens sometimes, and its usually because some customer tosses the shirt on the wrong table, and then the employees (especially me) don't discover this mistake until someone tries to buy it and makes a scene. This isn't new, so I follow our procedure in the matter.
Me: I apologize, it shouldn't have been there.
Dude: So do I still get the 40% off?
I'm beginning to feel like I'm being Punk'd, but remember that show hasn't been on in years and I'm not close to famous enough.
Me: No...but if you want I can swap this shirt for an Alfani from that table and then I can apply the 40% discount.
The dude begins to get a little hostile.
Dude: I don't want an Alfani, I want this shirt for 40% off.
I open my mouth to speak, but then rethink whatever I was about to say to him.
Dude: Whatever, I'll just buy this. How much?
Me (immediately): Eighty-nine ninety.
The dude shakes his head like I personally let him down and goes through his multi-credit-carded wallet.
We finish the transaction, I print the receipt, he pulls it out of the printer before I can hand it to him. He tucks it in his wallet, then pulls out another credit card...our store credit card.
Dude: I found it, I knew I had it!
He holds it out to me in such a way that I'm a leper.
Dude: I had the card, can you transfer the transaction to this and I'll get the 30% discount you mentioned.
Me: The 30% discount is the offer we give when you sign up for a new card.
Dude: But I have this card.
Anyway, happy mother fucking Monday!