Am I too drunk to masturbate? Or too munk to dasturbate?
I feel like it's impossible to get any sexual satisfaction while still being aware of the real world around you. Unless you're a sociopath. Maybe that's why porn stars have screaming orgasms. They're no faking, they're just on film sets. They've accepted the reality of their situation as a fiction and in return, have eye rolling orgasms.
The truth is, I can't cum because I can't stop thinking for even five minutes about the debt I'm in, the shitty job I have, and the fact that my cat seems to have an easier time losing weight than I do. That's not one of those "I'm a girl unhappy with my weight" type lures, it's just a fact that Ned Stark seems to have an easier time at weight fluctuation without seemingly attempting it and I find that kind of depressing.
I know this seems random, but as I tried masturbating, I got distracted by one of the porn stars referring to her vagina as a "cherry pie." That notion has always grossed me out. Like the way I don't like the re-imagining of breasts as cupcakes with cherry nipples.
But cherry vagina pie aside...do people still get pie in restaurants? Diners? Like pull off to the side of the road and enter a diner at two in the morning and have a piece of pie and a cup of coffee. I feel like that's one of those romanticized things that's never as good in real life. Do people even do that? Did anyone ever do that?
If I'm traveling through Nevada on a cross country, soul searching trip at midnight, see an all night diner, would I even stop? And would I stop and eat their pie? How old is it? How many customers does that diner honestly get that the turnover rate for their lone-wolf-eating-pie is high enough that I'm guaranteed a fresh slice?
Maybe I'm missing the whole point. How can I expect myself to cum when I can't get past pie. How can I expect myself to do anything expected when I can't even masturbate without feeling completely and utterly lost.